Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor stopped in to visit with the embattled Roland Burris on Tuesday as she made her way to the bottom of the list of U.S. Senators to meet with before her confirmation hearings begin. While we weren't there, we have a pretty good idea of how it went.
1. Are you wearing a wire?
2. Can I sign your cast?
3. Can I list my achievements on your cast?
4. I might need another cast; I was the first African American from Southern Illinois University to attend Hamburg University in Germany, you know.
5. Have you thought about your death crypt? I can hook you up.
6. I'm the junior senator from Illinois. Who are you again?
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7. Let's talk about the law. What is your definition of perjury?
8. If a perjury case came before you, would you be a strict constructionist or do you believe the Constitution is flexible?
9. Do you think I could be a Supreme Court justice one day? Who should I see about that? Do I need to hold a fundraiser?
10. I, um, I’m really in a bind, um, I’d really like to vote to confirm you, but, uh, then they’ll say, oh, she bought that confirmation, um, well, you could just send the check to my lawyer . . .
Steve Rhodes is the proprietor of The Beachwood Reporter, a Chicago-centric news and culture review.
