Rod's Reality Pitch Letters

Fallen governor seeks new show

Now that a federal judge has declined Rod Blagojevich's request to travel to Costa Rica to participate in a reality TV show, the cash-strapped former governor is writing letters to other shows that film stateside in the hopes he might land a role.

To wit:

Dear Real World: I know I've been estranged from you for a long time but I think I could be a great addition to your cast and I promise to do a much better job than Bob Dole.


Dear The Hills: Please consider me as the new love interest for either Spencer or Heidi Pratt. You can never have too many self-absorbed manipulators on your show. Please review my resume and get back to me.


Dear Millionaire Matchmaker: You want ratings? I'll give you ratings. Me and my wife Patti both want to marry a millionaire! See where I'm going with this?


Dear Intervention: I'm an ego addict. For a reasonable fee, I would love to be featured on your show. Or maybe I could intervene on others. Or I will become a drug addict if that's what it takes. I just really really, really want to be on TV. For a fee.


Dear American Idol:  Don't you think Simon Cowell's 15 minutes are up? And that boxy haircut, ewwww! Let me help you revitalize your show. I have a lot of new ideas for working people whom I am always trying to help, and I also think it's high time we recognize the hard work jurors in this country do for us. They are America's true idols.


Dear NBC: America's Best Lawyer. Winner gets to represent me. Think about it.

Steve Rhodes is the proprietor of The Beachwood Reporter. Sadly, he has seen just about every episode of The Real World ever made.

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