Now that a federal judge has declined Rod Blagojevich's request to travel to Costa Rica to participate in a reality TV show, the cash-strapped former governor is writing letters to other shows that film stateside in the hopes he might land a role.
Dear Real World: I know I've been estranged from you for a long time but I think I could be a great addition to your cast and I promise to do a much better job than Bob Dole.
Dear The Hills: Please consider me as the new love interest for either Spencer or Heidi Pratt. You can never have too many self-absorbed manipulators on your show. Please review my resume and get back to me.
Dear Millionaire Matchmaker: You want ratings? I'll give you ratings. Me and my wife Patti both want to marry a millionaire! See where I'm going with this?
Dear Intervention: I'm an ego addict. For a reasonable fee, I would love to be featured on your show. Or maybe I could intervene on others. Or I will become a drug addict if that's what it takes. I just really really, really want to be on TV. For a fee.
Dear American Idol: Don't you think Simon Cowell's 15 minutes are up? And that boxy haircut, ewwww! Let me help you revitalize your show. I have a lot of new ideas for working people whom I am always trying to help, and I also think it's high time we recognize the hard work jurors in this country do for us. They are America's true idols.
Dear NBC: America's Best Lawyer. Winner gets to represent me. Think about it.