Pat Quinn's “Governor To Do” List

Orders from the new gov in week one

Pat Quinn begins his first full week as governor of Illinois today. Here's what you can expect.

- Finds a toupee Blago left behind in the governor's desk. Tries it on.

- Announces plan to lease State of Illinois Building to Ringling Bros.

- Orders ghost employees to show up to work at least three days a week.

- To save money, moves the state's website to Blogger.

- Open road tolling becomes. 

- Holds press conference to tell media use of "The Mighty Quinn" in headlines has grown tiresome.

- Buys replacement "Q" that Blago removed from the governor's official laptop.

- Red phone to Tony Rezko re-routed to Quinn's mother.

- Agrees to be the one to stay home at the Governor's Mansion on Thursday between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. to let the guy in to read the gas meter.

- Announces plan to save money by removing the silent "s" from Illinois.

- Rejects offer to appear on Saturday Night Live this weekend because he's already committed to a local public-access show.

- Sheepishly admits he used the state bike for personal business.

- Pressures state casino owners to add gin rummy to their menu of games.

- Enrolls state in Office Depot rewards program.

- Sends Lisa Madigan on fact-finding mission to Iceland.

Steve Rhodes is the editor and publisher ofThe Beachwood Reporter.

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