When it comes to landing the 2016 Olympics, the conventional wisdom is in: It's all about Obama.
"Barack Obama Seen As The Closer To Get 2016 Games," the Tribune reports today.
But if Obama wants to cinch the Games for his hometown when he goes - as expected - before the IOC in Copenhagen in October, he'll have to do more than just flash that smile of his and talk about hope. He'll have to make a few promises. Perhaps:
- Planetarium earmarks for the hometowns of all IOC members.
- Will do NCAA brackets for IOC members for the next eight years.
- Bootleg Chia Obama Heads in gift bags.
- Each IOC member gets one crack at Michelle in arm-wrestling.
- Will not invade IOC countries on false premises.
- Will put in a good word with Mayor Daley for IOC members who vote for Chicago twice.
- IOC members supporting Chicago's bid will be assigned ghost payroll jobs under Todd Stroger.
- All federal wiretaps would be turned off during the Games.
- Tony Rezko guarantees to cover any operating losses.
Steve Rhodes is the proprietor of The Beachwood Reporter, a Chicago news and culture review.