Cubs Fans Fail At Hot Dog Sales

Lay off, "Queen of Wien"

Chicago has a reputation for its food. The highbrow among us would like to think that our coterie of world-class chefs and ritzy dining establishments is the cuisine the city is best known for, but that's just wishful thinking. No, it's two things: Stuffed pizza (yum) and the Chicago-style hot dog (double yum).

Theoretically, this tradition should stretch to baseball games. Theoretically, the Cubs and White Sox should have the tastiest hot dogs in all the land. Theoretically, the two clubs should be near the top of the league in hot dog sales every year. And theoretically, all stereotypes should be true. Not the case.

No, it seems the Cubs and the White Sox lag behind in hot dog sales. What fresh shame is this?

"It's a very sad day for Chicago," said Janet Riley, aka "The Queen of Wien," the president of the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council.

Based on interviews with stadium concession managers, vending companies and Major League Baseball teams' public relations representatives, 990,055 hot dogs are expected to be eaten at Wrigley -- putting the Cubs sixth in the majors in projected sales. The White Sox fared even worse. They are projected to sell 675,000 dogs, ranking them 13th, one place below the Houston Astros.

First of all, Ms. "Queen of Wien," that is an incredibly unfortunate nickname, and not one we'd have chosen for ourselves. There have to be better hot dog-related nicknames here. We'll brainstorm and get back to you.

Second, don't peer pressure us! The hot dogs at Wrigley Field just aren't very good. What's more, we're already fat. Don't force us to scarf down a nasty, sodium-laden hot dog just to prove our worth to the city. This isn't a frat house, after all. We'll take a veggie burger instead.

Just kidding. That's disgusting. Four hot dogs, please.

Eamonn Brennan is a Chicago-based writer, editor and blogger who still can't wrap his head around the veggie burger thing. You can also read him at Yahoo! Sports, Mouthpiece Sports Blog, and Inside The Hall, or at his personal site, Follow him on Twitter.

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