Human Trophy Presents Self to “Best Neighborhood”

Golden Local debate winner

When I first moved into the city and long before my lucrative career as the world’s first human trophy, I rented a garden apartment in the 60614 zip code of Lincoln Park. Ah yes, Lincoln Park, famous for its statue of President Ulysses S. Grant. So I was more excited than a Cubs fan in April when I had the privilege to present myself in all my golden glory to the neighborhood of Lincoln Park.

In the first Golden Local online debate, Lincoln Park edged out Hyde Park, 52% to 48% for the title of BEST NEIGHBORHOOD. As I perused the online comments while Allison Rosati and Warner Saunders tallied the votes, one remark repetitively stood out and may have tipped the scales in LP’s favor – FREE ZOO! Even though I spend my days spinning in circles as a distinguished flesh and blood keepsake, I do understand the value of a buck and FREE is always awesome (and so are giraffes).

As I glistened on the corner of Sheffield and Fullerton inhaling bus fumes, while the Lincoln Park residents and DePaul students cheered in celebration, I felt a deep sense of pride for these hard-working, iPod-listening Northsiders.

Hyde Park, hold your head high. You are the current abode of the President’s residence. Combine that little tidbit with those tasty corncakes served with a side of succulent honey butter at Dixie Kitchen & Bait Shop and it’s no wonder you were such a tough and honorable competitor. But the locals spoke and locals don’t lie. Hockey has Lord Stanley, Hollywood has its Oscar and now Lincoln Park has its BRIAN!

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