We're buddies, right? I know that you and I don't have the same close relationship as you and Jay Cutler, but still, I'm your No. 1 running back!
We need to CONNECT. Be buddies. What are you doing after practice? Do you want to go get some dinner? Maybe head to Gibson's and get some steaks? Because there's something I want to talk to you about.
It's just ... don't forget about me, man! We did big things together on Sunday, right? I ran for 166 yards and scored two touchdowns. It felt so good. I'm a runner! Don't get me wrong. I'll still do the pass-catching thing. Shoot. I've made more catches than anyone else on the team, so you know that. But a running back has gotta run.
With your boy J-Cutty back on Sunday, I know you'll want to let him throw it around. I respect that. But is there any way you can work me in, too, Coach? We want to give Cutler a chance to not get sacked on every play, y'know? Oh. We're not laughing about that. Sorry. Anyway ... I showed you on Sunday that I can do medium yardage and long yardage gains. Your boy Johnny Knox even threw a few nice blocks to help me out. Give me the ball and let me go, Coach!
The other thing is, I'm in a really tight fantasy league game with Chester Taylor. I'm starting at RB, and I really need those points, Coach. I was everybody's favorite fantasy player last weekend. Let me do that again! I've gotta beat Taylor or he'll never let me hear the end of it.
So, I hope I gave you something to think about, coach. Now, let's go get some steaks.