The Internet is Empty. Come Back Later.

* Another gem from

* The Trib gives us a helpful pattern to make an origami Roland Burris.  The paper version is just as respected as the actual "Senator."

* 10 ways not to get laid off.  (#9 - Don't get a job in the first place.)

* You may impress your fellow freshmen by eating fetal pig testicles in biology class, but you will also go to the hospital.  Also, everyone will refer to you as that kid who ate fetal pig testicles.  But if you're okay with that, bon apetit.

Stephen Colbert will be the guest editor of an upcoming issue of Newsweek.  Is "awesometacular" a word?  It is now.

10 speedy tips to look good in a hurry.  (#3 - drop trou if female, put on pants if male.)

Men have more followers on Twitter.  Although Zoraida's Twitter feed has a thousand more followers than mine.

* Though this is clearly a violation of U.S. postal laws, there's now a website that allows you to send poop to a hated rival.  Actual feces.  You know, in case pooping into an envelope is too difficult for you to figure out on your own.

Even "vampires" and other goth weirdos have their own dating websites.  That's it.  The internet is out of ideas.

Get ready to pay for Hulu.  Or just go back to piracy like you did before it existed.

* Muscle men get more chicks.  Thank you, science.  Now what can you tell me about pretty girls?

* I advise you to come to the iO Theater Cabaret tonight as Whiskey Rebellion slams the stage with a comedy tsunami.  As a bonus, you'll get to see "Bash," the one-man musical.  Tickets are just $12.

* (Sorry for the short post today, kids.  I searched everywhere and came up empty today.)

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