In yet another report we can put in the Business As Usual file, Gov. Pat Quinn has appointed the wife of a state legislator to a position on the Pollution Control board that pays $117,000 a year.
But everyone involved insist that the legislator's personal conversations with Quinn's aides had nothing - nothing! - to do with his wife getting the job.
He just wanted the governor's people to know how super-great his wife would be in the post.
And now let's meet our latest comedy duo, Mike and Carrie Zalewski!
Carrie, you already work in the state Transportation Department as an environmental compliance attorney so it's not like you don't have any (wink, wink) credentials (laugh track).
In fact, you'd think your resume would have been enough. Fifty others applied for the post too.
But your loving husband went the extra mile for you.
"What I said to the governor's office was if you just took a look at her credentials, you'd see that she was an excellent candidate for consideration," Mike told AP. "It didn't go beyond that. I wanted to make sure they understood that her credentials were really strong for the position."
But here's where this lovely couple really turn on the charm. When asked if her husband's talks with the governor's office helped her get the job, Carrie said "I would like to think not."
Oh, stop! You're killing me!
I'm sure you would love to think your dumb husband was of absolutely no use at all! That oaf!
And gee, I bet you two didn't even discuss beforehand his intervention. It was a surprise! Oh, you!
And to all the others out there who didn't get the job, well, don't go thinking Carrie had the inside track or anything. She didn't need her husband to bolster her strong credentials. She was an obvious pick for the job!
But that's funny, too: Apparently her own husband didn't think so!
Good luck, Zalewskis! You've been a riot.
We can't wait 'til you clout your kids into a magnet school and get a colleague to give them a legislative scholarship to good ol' U of I.