Blue Man Blues

Layoffs shrink wacky group to three

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    Hard times in the economy are taking a toll on the iconic Blue Man Group.

    Even Blue Men are losing their jobs these days due to the disintegrating economy.

    "At its peak, the Chicago operation employed as many as eight blue men," Chris Jones reports in the Tribune.

    "Not right now. After the layoffs, the Chicago Blue Men are down to three full-time drummers, provocateurs and marshmallow munchers, plus a couple of part-time guys who fill in as needed."

    Some additional cost-cutting measures that may be on tap:

    - Reduce the Blue Man Group to the Blue Man. He will juggle.

    - Switch to White Man Group to save money on paint.

    - Make a Blue Man sex tape to revive interest.

    - Hire Michael Phelps and add synchronized bong hits to the show.

    - Perform exclusively at Wal-Mart next to the Bruce Springsteen records.

    - Ask federal government for help with Blue Man infrastructure needs.

    - Rob banks with faces painted blue to disguise identities.

    - Will be Blue Man for food.

    - Tell Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner that failure to pay Blue Man taxes was an honest mistake.

    - Change name to the Blue Obama Group.