Swayze's Regret: Was Never a Father

New memoir reveals moment actor learns of cancer

By DANIEL MACHT
|  Wednesday, Sep 23, 2009  |  Updated 1:56 AM CDT
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Patrick Swayze: Life in Photos

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Patrick Swayze wrote touching words to his wife in a memoir due out Sept. 29.

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Patrick Swayze went to his grave with one regret – he never became a dad.

The beloved “Dirty Dancing” actor, who succumbed to pancreatic cancer last week at the age of 57, reveals in a new memoir that he had always wanted kids with soulmate Lisa Niemi.

The only problem: his wife miscarried and the devastated couple would never conceive again.

"I couldn't wait to become a dad, to have a child with this woman I loved so dearly,” Swayze writes in “The Time of My Life,” the Boston Globe reported. “And I wanted to be the best father I could be - the kind of father my dad had been to me.”

After the miscarriage Swayze felt “crushed with grief” from the loss, he writes.

“We figured we had plenty more years ahead of us. Eventually, we did start trying again hoping Lisa would get pregnant,” he writes. “But she never did.”

In the heart-tugging tome which comes out on Sept. 29, Swayze describes his wife of 34 years as the person who helped him find his “spirit” and become “the man I wanted to be.”

"You are my woman, my lover, my mate and my lady. I loved you forever, I love you now and I will love you forever more," he writes. 

Swayze also describes a holiday party in Aspen in 2007 as the moment he first realizes the serious nature of his illness, USA Today reported.

"We all raised glasses of champagne for a toast," Swayze writes. "I took a sip, and as the champagne began to course through my esophagus to my stomach, I nearly choked — it burned like acid going down. It felt like I'd drunk lye, a sharp, searing pain that brought tears to my eyes."

Three weeks later he got his pancreatic cancer diagnoses.

Swayze was cremated last week and is expected to have his ashes scattered at his family's New Mexico ranch, according to the Globe.
 

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