Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle has a new budget advisor: comedian Chris Rock.
On Wednesday, Preckwinkle name-checked Rock in defending her proposal for a five-cent bullet tax to the Tribune editorial board.
“As Chris Rock would say, if it costs a million dollars to society for every gunshot wound, we ought to charge a tax of a million dollars per bullet,” Preckwinkle said.
(Auntie No-Fun also wants to add a dollar to the county tax on cigarettes, bringing the total tax in Chicago to $6.67. And she wants an $800 tax on every slot and video poker machine and a $25 tax on every gun sold here.)
Rock didn’t actually suggest we charge a million dollars a bullet. He suggested $5,000 -- which is still a lot higher than Preckwinkle.
Everybody talkin’ bout gun control, gotta get rid of the guns. F--- that, I like guns. You got a gun, you don’t have to work out. I ain’t workin’ out. I ain’t joggin’. You got pecs? I got Tecs! You don’t need no gun control. You know what you need? You need some bullet control. We need to control the bullets. I think all bullets should cost $5,000. You know why? ’Cause if a bullet costs $5,000, there’ll be no more innocent bystanders. Every time someone gets shot, they’ll go, ‘Yeah, he musta did somethin’. They put $50,000 worth of bullets in his ass. People’ll think before they kill somebody if a bullet costs $5,000. ‘Man, I would blow your f---in’ head off, if I could afford it. I’ma get me another job, I’ma start savin’ some money, and you a dead man. You better hope I can’t get no bullets on layaway.’ So even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you won’t have to get no doctor to take it out. Whoever shot you will take they bullet back. I believe you got my property.”