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Did Absolut Miss the Point on Chicago-flavored Vodka?

One of the world's largest alcohol brands has created a Chicago-themed vodka.

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Absolut

    As part of a campaign to appeal to more local vodka fans, Absolut, one of the world’s largest alcohol brands, has created a Chicago-themed vodka.

    Known as Absolut Chicago, the new spirit is described as a “smooth, mellow blend of rosemary and thyme herbal notes and green olives,” intended to capture the city’s history with a “unique blend of the past with the cutting edge of right now.”

    Which got us thinking: Clearly, rosemary, thyme and olives don’t have anything at all to do with Chicago, do they? I mean, no one ever tasted rosemary and suddenly imagined themselves on Lower Wacker Drive, right?

    Or chomped into an olive and felt an urge to overpay for downtown parking. Or took a whiff of thyme and longed for a 100-degree afternoon in the bleachers at Wrigley, watching the Cubs blow another late-inning lead.

    If Absolut really wanted to create something “grounded in [Chicago’s] history and tradition yet constantly looking to the future,” I can think of about a dozen other flavors and scents it should have incorporated into its new vodka.

    So, as a lifelong Chicagoan and an unflagging city booster, I hereby offer the marketing folks at Absolut my suggestions for what a real Chicago-themed vodka should taste and smell like:

    Bubbly Creek
    The late-inning breath of a White Sox fan at U.S. Cellular Field
    Alley dumpsters
    Dead alewives

    CTA bus fumes
    Fulton market fish juices
    Elevated ozone levels on the Kennedy Expressway
    The smell of silly putty in Archer Park
    Dog poop in a city park 

    There’s dozens more, I’m sure.

    What do you think? Tell us on the Ward Room Twitter account, or just use the hashtag #ChicagoFlavor. Our editors will collect up the best responses and post next week.