Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and rub cold Coke cans against your forehead until this heat wave either passes by or finally brings your life to a merciful conclusion. LET’S GO!
THE DECISION – 9:00PM (ESPN) I love that they gave LeBron James’ free agency special an actual title like this. It’s makes it at least 56% more absurd. It makes it sound like it should be hosted by Sam Donaldson, with Nate Silver zeroing in on very small but crucial voting districts on a nearby touch screen. ESPN is a bastion of journalistic integrity, I tell you.
Anyway, LeBron’s choices tonight are Cleveland, Miami, New York, New Jersey, Chicago, and Los Angeles (but the Clippers, not the Lakers). Which should he choose? Well, New York is the greatest city on Earth. But Chicago is probably my favorite city in the world. Miami has great nightlife and people in various states of half-dress. It’s not an easy call. Not at all. Except the New Jersey and Cleveland parts. Those are relatively easy to eliminate in ruthless and mean-spirited fashion. ANTICIPATION: NOT ACTUAL BASKETBALL!
BIG BROTHER – 8:00PM (CBS) Break out the Chenbot! CBS’ reality stalwart is back for another summer of people too old for “The Real World” being confined to a single house and snuggling under dirty blankets on a nightvision camera. Feel the disease! ANTICIPATION: COOTIERIFFIC!
CSI – 9:00PM (CBS) It’s a summer rerun tonight, but you CSI fans will be pleased to know star Marg Helgenberger re-upped with CBS today and will remain on the show for a good long while. And that’s good, because Marg Helgenberger is the original cougar. ANTICIPATION: DEAD YOUNG PEOPLE!
ANTHONY BOURDAIN: NO RESERVATIONS – 9:00PM (Travel Channel) If you missed the season premiere Monday night (as I did), catch up tonight with a rerun of it. It’s the best food and travel show on TV. And while that may not mean much given that “Man Vs. Food” represents the rest of that category, trust me, it’s a great show. ANTICIPATION: MEAT ON A STICK!
BOSTON MED – 10:00PM (ABC) Tonight, the docs do a complicated brain surgery. As opposed to the simple kind. ANTICIPATION: BRAINS!