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Idle Bears Look Like Geniuses

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Sometimes being idle is a good thing.  While the Bears hibernated this weekend, at least two NFL franchises went downright stupid.

    What's up with this Randy Moss business?  The Vikings burned a third round pick to get him from the Patriots.  It was a deal with the devil, sure, but they knew how Moss behaves. This is the same guy who sprayed a water bottle at an official and corrupted an entire generation by pretending to moon Lambeau Field.  And he pulled those shenanigans while in a Vikings uniform.

    But the Vikings were apparently fed up with their one-month experiment and they're sending Moss to the wilderness. Really?  You could fine him. You could bench him. You could try, I dunno, coaching the guy.  Even if Randy isn't catching touchdowns, he's getting double-covered and opening up lanes for Percy Harvin. But Brad Childress is so thin-skinned he can't endure a little sniping from a diva receiver.

    What's Minnesota's next move?  Bringing in Maurice Clarett and Ryan Leaf?  Letting the winner of the Punt, Pass & Kick contest take a whirl at offensive coordinator?  Wearing their helmets backwards to confuse opposing defenses into thinking they're running the wrong way?

    Yes, things are grim in Minnesota.  But at least they have this rousing pep song from Prince.  (Yes, it's real.)

    Dare we ask if Randy would look good in a Bears uniform?  Mike Martz would love him.  Yet another speedy body to sprint 50 yards from the crumpled remains of Jay Cutler.  But the Bears are more than capable of self-destructing without Moss' help.  We'll pass.

    Elsewhere, Mike Shanahan continues to be rightly blasted for yanking Donovan McNabb in favor of Rex Grossman.  McNabb clearly isn't what he used to be, but Grossman is exactly what he used to be.  The man never met a turnover he couldn't commit.  It's like he secretes WD-40 from his sweat glands.  I don't want to say Grossman is a klutz, but after his fumble Sunday, he went to hold his head in his hands and he dropped it.

    Shanahan's current excuse for benching McNabb is that the QB didn't have the proper "cardiovascular endurance."  Cardiovascular endurance!  For a two-minute drill!  If McNabb's heart can't make it through 120 seconds, he's got bigger problems than losing his coach's confidence.

    The Redskins are just a graveyard for once-promising talent.  Every year, they shell out millions for mid-level players who had one or two solid years.  It's like hiring Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone to sing at your wedding and wondering why they don't sound as good without that Timberlake kid.

    You almost wonder if Shanahan is making lineup changes on a dare.  And with Randy Moss floating free, the Redskins are probably only a double-dog dare away from adding the King of the Boneheads to jog listlessly toward a wobbling Grossman duck.

    If the Bears can somehow manage to have a bye week every week, maybe the rest of the league will implode and we'll get the Lombardi trophy by default.