CTA chairwoman Carole Brown told a U.S. House committee last month that her agency has $500 million in "shovel-ready" projects. The CTA Tattler reports this week that Brown has yet to be guaranteed any money - though it doubts she would have any problem spending half a billion dollars rather quickly. We don't think it would be a problem either. Here are some of the shovel-ready projects we suspect are in store.
- PR money to shovel the BS after giving top managers raises again.
- New fare card design depicting Mayor Daley in flowing robes.
- Funds to remove Ron Huberman's name from all the stationery.
- Mondy to dig more evacuation routes from underground El lines that riders will never be told about.
- New $499 million CTA headquarters.
- Five hundred shovels to dig buses out of snow banks.
- A new program re-instituting slow zones.
- A $500 million down-payment on finishing the CTA Superstation at Block 37.
- Walking around money for election day.
- At least $25 million for a new program that will reimburse CTA executives for their gas expenses from driving to work.
- Seed money for the mayor's new CTA TIF.
- Construction of the new Gold Line, which will connect the Gold Coast to North Michigan Avenue.
- Welcome to Mayor Richard M. Daley's Open Road Tolling!