Tonight: Rudolph Gets Hosed

Plus, musician benefit bash and linking up with LinkdNChicago

HOLIDAY CHEER: If you take a cynical approach toward Christmas, head over to Mary's Attic tonight for Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer 2010, a parody on the popular children's TV special. Rudolph is joined by misfit friends such as "Herbie the not gay enough elf who wants to be a dentist and Yukon Cornelia, the butch prospector with a deep, dark secret, as they search for happiness and attempt to outrun the horrifyingly tacky Abominable Drag-Beast. 7:30 p.m., 5400 N. Clark Ave, Tickets $30

BENEFIT BASH: Hit Smartbar tonight for not only a great party, but for a chance to help out a house music icon. Paul Johnson, the creator of legendary hits such as "Get Get Down," was injured in a car accident over the weekend, leaving him with a broken hip, spinal injuries and a leg that will likely be amputated. His many musical friends, such as Farley Jackmaster Funk, Stacy Kidd and Glenn Underground will all be spinning at tonight's benefit event to help with his expenses. 10 p.m., 3730 N. Clark, $5

LINK UP: If you're struggling to fulfill your Christmas list because your wallet is a little light, perhaps the Christmas season is the right time to start thinking about a new gig -- mainly, a better-paying gig. Start tonight at the Linked N Chicagonetworking evet at Plush. The events are designed to expand your professional network by actually meeting like-minded people in person, as opposed to digitally. A photo booth will also be set up to take professional-looking pics for your profile. 6 p.m., 1104 W. Madison St., FREE for members, $15 for others

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