Explosion Of Porn, Meat, Booze Seizures at Dulles

Government's War on Fun has a week for the ages

By JIM NEWELL
|  Friday, Feb 27, 2009  |  Updated 9:23 AM CDT
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Explosion Of Porn, Meat, Booze Seizures at Dulles

U.S. Customs and Border Protection

But how did Customs find this stuff if it was hidden in plastic bags?

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To the Washington area resident who's expecting four pounds of pork sausage from your contact in the Netherlands: it's not happening, sorry.

The Feds confiscated it at Dulles. In fact, the Feds confiscated a lot of smuggled international meat at the airport this past week. As well as porn and booze! What kind of a POLICE STATE is this?

Customs and Border Protection officials at Dulles International Airport are reporting that they've seized an unusually high number of items from international travelers in the past week. WTOP labels many of these items "wacky" -- as in, hey, those Foreigns sure do like wacky stuff! -- but since when are choice meats, cigars, Absinthe, vodka, pornography, and cocaine considered strange? OK, maybe cocaine is illegal... but otherwise, you've got your five basic food groups there.

Well, it's complicated. Much of the pornography, for instance, centered around the very unfortunate thematic element of young children having sex. And the ones that only featured adults depicted these adults having sex with wild animals. Some people are just awful.

And with regards to the alcohol, two bottles of vodka were brought in by a minor, from Germany, where drinking is legal at the age of zygote. Give the kid a break, Dulles! He comes from a *different culture.*

The confiscated cocaine -- five kilograms worth -- belonged to a 40-year-old Colombian man. Ugh, Colombia? Really? They couldn't be a little more subtle?

The cigars were only taken because they were Cuban, and they're Communists, the end.

Jim Newell writes wacky foreign articles for Wonkette and IvyGate.

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