Chicago has broken up with the Olympics.
No more casual strolls along the river, dreaming of our mutual future filled with subcontractor overcharges. No more sharing our hopes for a South Side real estate bonanza.
But, as in every breakup, something's been left behind, and we can't stop thinking about you, Olympics.
So please, come and take your posters down off our walls.
Although notable for their grammatic license -- how does friendship shine, exactly? -- they're also cluttering up space that could be better used for, oh, how about erectile dysfunction adverts.
Chicago 2016's expected to lay off its 57 paid employees by the end of October, but for now they're not answering phone calls or emails.
What's up with the silent treatment. Not cool.
If you could please come over and pick up your posters, we'd be so much obliged.