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Indicted former governor and suspected sociopath Rod Blagojevich kicks off his book tour this morning with an appearance on the Today show followed by a heavy schedule through the month, including scheduled appearances on The View and Jimmy Kimmel Live.
But the governor should be making some lesser-known (perhaps imagined) appearances. Here's where he ought to post up for his I-didn't-do-it tour.
Sept. 12: Blago should sign autographs at the 7-11 on Western and Grace at Noon. Sodas will be free with purchase of chips and a sandwich.
Sept. 14: Blago should perform an acoustic set for the lunch crowd at Potbelly's at State and Lake.
Sept. 18: Blago should give a reading for Cell Block D at the Cook County Jail. Space is limited, so only those still awaiting trial will be eligible for the ticket lottery.
Sept. 19: Blago should make an appearance at the Jackson station on the Blue Line. Donations welcome.
Sept. 21: In the morning, Blago should once again guest host on WLS-AM. In the afternoon, he'll guest host on WNUTS from his living room.
Sept. 29: Blago should read from chapter three during the seventh-inning stretch of the Cubs game against the Pirates.
Sept. 30: Blago will read from chapter four to his therapist.
Oct. 3: Blago and Patti should make a joint appearance at the Montrose Cleaners and regale customers between loads.
Oct. 6: Blago will mumble to himself in the shower until he is finally persuaded that he really didn't do anything wrong and everyone really is out to get him.
Steve Rhodes is the proprietor of The Beachwood Reporter, a Chicago-centric news and culture review.