Hedging The Reader's Bets

With Sam Zell reportedly on the way out of one local news shop and a hedge fund definitely on the way in to another, we stop to ponder which one you'd rather work for:

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ZELL: Nicknamed the Grave Dancer.

HEDGE FUND: Creates the graves.

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ZELL: Rides motorcycles.

HEDGE FUND: Exploits business cycles.

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ZELL: Iconoclastic.

HEDGE FUND: Morally elastic.

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ZELL: Exploits mobile home residents for profit.

HEDGE FUND: Exploits mobile capital for profit.

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ZELL: Doesn't like to wear a tie.

HEDGE FUND: Doesn't like to wear too many employees on its payroll.

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ZELL: Expert at avoiding taxes.

HEDGE FUND: Taxes?

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ZELL: Thinks Craigslist stole his advertising.

HEDGE FUND: Thinks hookup from Craigslist stole his wallet.

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ZELL: Thinks Google steals his stories.

HEDGE FUND: Invested in Google.

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ZELL: Knows nothing about running a newspaper.

HEDGE FUND: Knows nothing about running a newspaper.

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Steve Rhodes is the proprietor of The Beachwood Reporter, a Chicago-centric news and culture review.

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