Hedging The Reader's Bets

New owners better or worse than Zell?

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    Which paper would you rather work for?

    With Sam Zell reportedly on the way out of one local news shop and a hedge fund definitely on the way in to another, we stop to ponder which one you'd rather work for:


    ZELL: Nicknamed the Grave Dancer.

    HEDGE FUND: Creates the graves.


    ZELL: Rides motorcycles.

    HEDGE FUND: Exploits business cycles.


    ZELL: Iconoclastic.

    HEDGE FUND: Morally elastic.


    ZELL: Exploits mobile home residents for profit.

    HEDGE FUND: Exploits mobile capital for profit.


    ZELL: Doesn't like to wear a tie.

    HEDGE FUND: Doesn't like to wear too many employees on its payroll.


    ZELL: Expert at avoiding taxes.

    HEDGE FUND: Taxes?


    ZELL: Thinks Craigslist stole his advertising.

    HEDGE FUND: Thinks hookup from Craigslist stole his wallet.


    ZELL: Thinks Google steals his stories.

    HEDGE FUND: Invested in Google.


    ZELL: Knows nothing about running a newspaper.

    HEDGE FUND: Knows nothing about running a newspaper.


    Steve Rhodes is the proprietor of The Beachwood Reporter, a Chicago-centric news and culture review.