Opinion: If Ward Room Were Outsourced To China

Last week, Mitt Romney tried to attack President Obama’s auto bailout by accusing one of the beneficiaries, Chrysler, of shifting Jeep production to China. As Chrysler itself pointed out, that’s not true. Obama accused Romney of investing in companies that shipped jobs to China while he was running Bain Capital in the 1990s. The Washington Post says that’s not true, either.

The presidential candidates are lying about each other’s records. That’s no reason not to worry about outsourcing to China. It could happen to your job! Personally, I don’t want my job outsourced to a Chinese writer who doesn’t know the first thing about Chicago politics, let along the English language, but is willing to blog for eight yuan a post.

So I conducted an experiment to find out what Ward Room would read like if it were written in China.

Here are the first two paragraphs from a post that went up earlier today:

Joe “Papa Cub” Ricketts, whose Ending Spending Super PAC has spent $10 million on ads supporting Mitt Romney, is now trying to bail out a Republican Senate candidate in Nebraska with a last-week ad campaign.

Ricketts, the TD Ameritrade owner who bought the Chicago Cubs for his middle-aged children, is a crusty right-wing billionaire devoted to Republican causes. He’s also a native Nebraskan, so he takes special interest in the fortunes of Deb Fischer, the Republican nominee for the seat being vacated by retiring Sen. Ben Nelson.


And here are those same paragraphs after Google translated them to Mandarin, then back into English:

Joe: “Daddy Boy” Ricketts, termination spending Super PAC has spent $ 10 million in advertising support Romney (Mitt Romney), is trying to save a Republican Senate candidate in Nebraska lastone week of the campaign.

Ricketts, who bought the Chicago Cubs, a grumpy right-wing billionaire the TD Ameritrade boss for his middle-aged children, and is committed to the reason of the Republican Party. He is a native of Nebraska, he particularly concerned about the fate of Deb Fischer, Republican presidential candidate seat vacated by the retirement of Democratic Senator Nelson.

Unless you like hearing Joe Ricketts called “Daddy Boy,” vote for the candidate who’ll do the most to stop outsourcing to China.

 

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