Ward Room
Covering Chicago's nine political influencers

Did You Eat A Gay Chicken Wednesday?

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Homosexual behavior is not limited to human beings. It’s been observed in thousands of animal species. Including 171 birds. Including chickens.

    A scholarly study performed in 1964 at Virginia Tech found that cockerels placed in cages only with members of their own sex started acting like prisoners placed in cages only with members of their own sex (i.e. displayed homosexual behaviors).

    According to the abstract:

    Cockerels were reared in sex-intermingled flocks until 58, 70 and 84 days of age, when they were placed at random into either all-male flocks or individual cages. Cages were constructed to prevent physical contact. Audio-contact was not prevented and visual contact was limited to sight through the front of the cage. Mating behaviour was studied from 217 to 231 days of age. Results showed that the age when males were placed in cages influenced their mating ability and suggests the existence of a sensitive period when physical contact at earlier ages influences behaviour at subsequent ages.

    On Wednesday, millions of gay marriage opponents observed Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day. The day was organized by former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee as a rebuke to mayors -- like our own Rahm Emanuel -- who want to keep Chick-fil-A out of their cities because of its socially conservative values. (Emanuel has said the chain doesn't share Chicago's values, but hasn't said he'd block the restaurant.)

    But if the Virginia Tech study is correct, there’s a chance that some of those anti-gay diners … ate a gay chicken, and are currently digesting its homosexuality. To make sure this never happens again, an Ohio man has started a petition asking Chick-fil-A to stop serving gay chickens.

    Chick-fil-A has a long history of supporting anti-gay organizations. Now their Chief Operating Officer (and founder's son) Dan Cathy has said, "I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, 'We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage'. I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about."
    But the harsh fact that Chick-fil-A ignores is that, as early as 1964, male chickens have been observed sexually mounting other cocks. How can Chick-fil-A claim to be truly committed to their selective and hateful misreading of the Biblical definition of marriage when the nearly 300 million sandwiches they sell yearly contain chickens, some or all of which might be gay?
    Tell Chick-fil-A to put their money where their mouth is and only sell animals that are 100% heterosexual.

    To comply, Chick-fil-A could request that farmer take note of any homosexual behavior, and cull those chickens from shipment sent to processing plants that do business with Chick-fil-A. There will still be plenty of demand for gay chickens in America’s restaurants. McDonald’s, for instance, offers benefits to domestic partners of gay employees. Gay roosters or lesbian hens won’t cut it in a Spicy Chicken Sandwich Deluxe. But they can still become McNuggets. 

     This month, Ward Room blogger Edward McClelland’s Young Mr. Obama: Chicago and the Making of a Black President will be available on Kindle for $2.99. Tracing Obama’s career in Chicago from his arrival as a community organizer to his election to the U.S. Senate, Young Mr. Obama tells the story of how a callow, presumptuous young man became a master politician, and of why only Chicago could have produced our first black president.