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Mailbag: Taking on the Seattle Naysayers

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Mailbag: Taking on the Seattle Naysayers

Getty Images

SEATTLE, WA - JANUARY 08: Running back Marshawn Lynch #24 of the Seattle Seahawks celebrates with his teammates his 67-yard touchdown run in the fourth quarter against the New Orleans Saints during the 2011 NFC wild-card playoff game at Qwest Field on January 8, 2011 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Marshawn Lynch;Tyler Polumbus;Cameron Morrah;Ben Obomanu

Hoo boy.  Someone hit a nerve yesterday by pointing out that many of Seattle's players were better prior to their years/decades riding the benches of other teams around the league.  Who knew a little trash talk would rile up an entire suburb?  (Seattle is a suburb, right?)

Seahawk fans left dozens of comments on our social media outlets suggesting the Bears are in trouble against the birds of the Pacific Northwest.  Let's answer some of them, shall we?

"Ummm did you do so little research for this article that you didn't realize the Seattle already beat the Bears once this season? Or did you leave that tidbit out on purpose?"

I thought Seattle wanted to forget the regular season.  Nine losses and all.  Did you know the only way for Seattle to rise above .500 on the season is to win the Super Bowl?  The Raiders managed .500 without the aid of playoff games.  For their sake, I hope the Seahawks do manage to vault past the Raiders' success.  (You remember the Raiders. They beat Seattle 33-3 in Week 8.)

Indeed, the Seahawks beat the Bears in Week 6.  It was a thrilling game with a whopping margin of victory of ... three points. That was before the Bears remembered that blocking was an essential part of football. That game also came immediately following a Seattle bye week.  Look who gets the bye now.

After the Seattle loss, the Bears went 7-3, including a meaningless final game against the Packers.  After that same Week 6 contest, the Seahawks went a mighty 4-7, notching victories against such Goliaths as the Carolina Panthers, St. Louis Rams and Arizona Cardinals (twice!)

Shall we respect Seattle on the merits of a 3-point victory in mid-October, a losing regular season record and a playoff victory against a team with no running backs and the QB who'd thrown the second-most interceptions all year?  Sure.  Tons of respect.  Here ya go.

"If the Seahawks are that bad, what does that say about the Bears?"

It says we will defeat them.  Handily. 

Look, Week 6 was crazy.  The Bears got distracted watching "The Event" on NBC.  They knew it was a mistake.  But they were promised answers!  It wouldn't be like "Lost."  As they dissected the finer points of the show, they dropped a game they should have won.  Then they felt so crummy about the Seahawks loss, they went out and dropped one to Washington. October was rough. But after one amazing Halloween party where Lovie Smith pulled off an incredible Johnny Depp Mad Hatter costume and told Mike Martz to start running, things were back on track. 

"How many times did Seattle sack Cutler when they last spanked Chicago?"

Six.  Almost as many victories as Seattle had all year.  And three points is hardly a spanking.  The 4-win Broncos defeated Seattle by 17 points.  How many spankings is that?

"u carebears are just scurrrred lil cubbies is all we came into yer house and beat u already in reg. season we'll do it again cuz yer whiney qb is so greedy he's gonna give us turn overs all day long cutler sucks"

Against this, I have no defense.

"(Marshawn Lynch) pushed away tackles, ran over people and made it to the end zone for a very nice 67 yard TOUCHDOWN! Don't hate the player for being good."

Good for you, Seattle.  May I introduce you to the second-best rushing defense in the NFL?  We have a few people who know how to tackle.  If 10 Chicago players whiff on  your overrated running back, we will gladly concede.

"How many plays before your middle linebacker made of glass cracks again?"

Nine.

Surely, Seattle fans will band together to suggest more reasons why their team will win and why this blogger should move out of his mother's basement.  But Chicago will win.  And my mother's basement is super comfortable, you guys.  I should have cable down there by the Super Bowl.  And my racecar waterbed is pretty rad.

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