Best Blago Ode Ever - NBC Chicago

Best Blago Ode Ever

Twas The Night Before Fitzmas strikes a chord



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    U.S. Attorney "Nick" Fitzgerald retells the story of how he arrested the governor of Illinois.

    Blagogate is so ripe for parody it's hard to know where to start, but the political-satire-media complex is in a fair amount of agreement on where to end: with a reworking of the holiday classic "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" that celebrates the work of our esteemed U.S. attorney.

    Let's take a look.

    Author:John Kass

    Opening verse: 'Twas the night before Fitzmas and all through the house

    The federals were listening for the sound of a mouse.

    The wiretaps were hung by the chimneys with care

    With sugarplum visions of the rats they would snare.

    Replacement reindeer names: Rezko, Kelly, Amish and Stu; Wyma, Harris, Rahm and Ata, too.

    Author:Mike Stawarski

    Opening verse: 'Twas the night before Fitzmas, all still at Rod’s house

    While the Feds vetted transcripts:  “That Blago’s a louse.”

    A Senate seat’s empty, the temptation is great

    To use the advantage and change Blago’s fate.

    Replacement reindeer names: Tribune, Cubbies, Obama and pols.

    Author:Gadfly (check out the illustration)

    Opening verse: 'Twas the night before Fitzmas, when all through the house

    Not a creature was stirring, not even a spouse;

    The talking points were hung at the Obama pad with care,

    In hopes that a new Senator soon would be there.

    Replacement reindeer: Axelrod, Rahmbo, Little Jesse Jackson; Tony Rezko, Billy Ayres, Rashid Khalidi

    Author:Beachwood Reporter (Disclaimer: I had a hand in this)

    Opening verse: Twas the night before Fitzmas, and all through the house,

    Not a creature was stirring, not even the louse,

    He had no way of knowing, what the morning would bring,

    But he found out at 6, when Fitz gave him a ring

    Replacement reindeer: Rezko, Harris, Kelly, Lon Monk; Ali Ata (you gotta talk out of your funk)