Is Ozzie Guillen Getting Boring?

It's just spring training, but Ozzie has been much quieter than usual, and we don't like it

When we open up our morning paper ... just kidding. We don't read the physical newspaper. We like the Internet version better. It keeps our hands ink-free. Anyway, when we read the newspaper in the morning via the Internet and/or our mobile device of choice, we have a few expectations.

One: Someone will write something sort of ridiculous about the Cubs. Two: Sudoku! And three: If Ozzie Guillen is mentioned in the headline of a story, it's because he spent the previous afternoon swearing at reporters. Usually, our expectations are fulfilled.

Not today. In fact, it's the exact opposite. This morning's Guillen story isn't about a tirade, or a weird strategic quirk, or some horribly insensitive-yet-hilarious thing said about a prominent local media member. Today's story is actually about how Ozzie hasn't done any of those things recently. Is Ozzie Guillen getting ... boring?

Let us count the weeks. It's been longer than a week since Guillen said he wanted to die on the baseball field. And that doesn't even qualify as crazy. Wouldn't we all like to die doing what we love best? On Feb. 15, Guillen scoffed at low predictions for the 2009 Sox, but nothing amazing there. We're now approach a month with no real, distilled, certifiable Guillen craziness.

 This is not a good month, people. This is not what we're used to. Nay, this is not what we've come to expect. On behalf of bloggers and writers everywhere, we hereby request that Ozzie Guillen start saying insane -- truly, mind-blowingly insane -- things again. Otherwise, we're going to have to find new work. Don't do this to us, Ozzie. Have a heart.

Eamonn Brennan is a writer, editor and blogger hunkered down in Lincoln Park. You can also read him at Yahoo! Sports, FanHouse, MOUTHPIECE Sports Blog, and Inside The Hall, or at his personal site,

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