Brandon Lloyd Is a Better Wide Receiver Than Rapper, and That's Not a Compliment

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The Bears have any number of things to concern themselves with as the season opener approaches: the state of Tommie Harris' knee, the questions along the offensive line (tangentially related: the inane drafting philosophy), the quarterback -- and his neck beard, not to mention the situation at wide receiver. (Silver lining: special teams is still awesome.)

In previewing the Week 1 game in Indianapolis, the Chicago Sun-Times' Brad Briggs could barely contain his enthusiasm when talking about Chicago's "wideouts":

Brandon Lloyd and Devin Hester appear to be locked in as starting wide receivers, but that doesn't mean much in a receiver-by-committee approach.

For some reason, the phrase "soft bigotry of low expectations" immediately comes to mind. Weird. Weirder still: Brandon Lloyd, quite possibly the underachieving-ist wide receiver in the league, not only managed to win a starting job, but also "drop a new single." From the President of the Brandon Lloyd Fan Club, Dan Steinberg:

[As President] I'd truly not be doing my job if I failed to pass on word of his new single, "She All Mine." He's now from "Chi-Town," it should be noted, is apparently huge in Shreveport, and is spitting lyrics like "You know I've been there, done that" and "I'ma do what I'm supposed to do," which both sound pretty amusing from a football standpoint. I'm going to go ahead and admit that I was probably on the wrong side of history on this one, although I still say he was great copy. But not nearly as great as this press release. "If ya nasty," that is.

You can find said press release here. If you, like most people, won't waste two minutes of your life reading it, let me highlight the money quote:

"I knew I wanted to be in the NFL when I was in kindergarten." Brandon remembers. "I once got sent to the principle's office for saying I wanted to be a professional football player in class when the teacher asked us all what we wanted to be when we grew up. The teacher said it was an 'unrealistic goal.' My Mom and Dad had always told me I could do anything I wanted. Just give it 100% and I can attain it."

And yet, despite Lloyd's teacher being right, and having yet to give anywhere close to 100 percent, he's gainfully employed in the NFL. Congrats, Bears fans.

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