When one engages in a breach in decorum so great that even the president feels the need to call you out on your jackassery, it’s official: you’ve waged a war on manners.
Seven days and at least three apologies after Kanye West's VMA outburst, we’ll find ourselves watching the Emmys, and although a West-ian outburst could in fact be the most interesting thing to happen in the show’s recent memory, I implore everyone in the vicinity of a hot mic during the Sept. 20 broadcast to please behave.
In other words: If you win, and the announcer mispronounces your name, just go with it. Graciously accept your award and if your name happens to sound like “Katherine Heigl” and you feel the need to make a correction, do so good-naturedly in the press room. Don’t overshadow your achievement with a petulant delivery of the proper pronunciation.
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Additionally, if you suggest that Jesus ought to "suck it,” as Kathy Griffin did at the 2007 Creative Arts Emmys, it’s not going to go over well. Just because you’re being awarded for your shtick doesn’t mean it’s appropriate everywhere. You won’t win viewers, and there are better ways to gain publicity.
If you are within bum-rush distance of the podium when Alec Baldwin accepts his best actor award for “30 Rock,” do not take the stage and begin any sentence with “yo, Imma let you finish…” (And if you do, just please don’t end the sentence with “‘Two and a Half Men’ is one of the best shows of the year).
Why does it even matter? Awards shows are often accused of being self-congratulatory at best, and at worst, a self-congratulatory display by people who make a lot of money for playing make-believe. That doesn’t exactly resonate with real people. As such, when one of those well-paid folks, whether Kathy Griffin or Kanye West, behaves badly, the whole show looks bad, too.
Let’s elevate West and his actions, for maybe the first and last time, to a teachable moment. It would be nice if this turned out to be one war that ended well. Can’t well all just behave? Please, and thank you.
Oprah goes ‘Mad’ for the ’60s
Regardless of whether “Mad Men” wins any Emmys Sunday night, the show will receive perhaps its most important endorsement soon. On Sept. 21, Oprah Winfrey not only shines a spotlight on the 1960s-era drama, but will redesign her entire set in order to do so.
According to folks at the show, the crew went to work re-creating the show as if it were plucked from a broadcast time capsule — the set was re-designed, the opening credits will run in black and white, there’s an announcer and curtain.
Even host Oprah is getting in on it, as she’ll be wearing a dress designed by Emmy award-winning “Mad Men” costume designer Janie Bryant, and the entire audience will don 1960s garb.
One thing this show does offer that no broadcast from the '60s had: A decade-appropriate version of Oprah’s favorite things.
‘Meatballs’ will be delicious
It’s looking like it will be “Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs” at the box office this weekend. The film adaptation of the much-loved children’s book hits 3,000 theaters this weekend, and is sure to be No. 1 at the box office.
“Jennifer’s Body” could give “Meatballs” a run for its money. Since it stars Megan Fox, the quality of the plot becomes less important, and it will draw big teenage male crowds. And since it opens in 2,700 theaters, there are enough screens to keep it competitive.
The wild card is “Love Happens,” with Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. Not only has the promotion been a little flat, but it’s handicapped by opening in only about 1,800 theaters. If Aniston really has big screen star power, this film will prove it.
Courtney Hazlett delivers the Scoop Monday through Friday on msnbc.com. Follow Scoop on Twitter: @ courtneyatmsnbc.