Ford: Indy 5 Plot Taking Shape

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Get your whip out and prepare to hate snakes once more. The BBC is reporting that Harrison Ford says an idea is now in place for a fifth Indiana Jones flick. We go to the blockquotes:

The Hollywood actor says he, director Steven Spielberg and writer George Lucas have come up with a rough outline for the follow-up to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

He said: "Steven [Spielberg] and George [Lucas] and I are sort of agreed on a germ of an idea and we're seeing what comes of it."

I am someone who didn’t get a chance to see “Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull” in theaters, then was told by many to avoid it entirely, then saw it on DVD with incredibly low expectations, then was mildly entertained by it, then gradually came to see why everyone else hated it.

There are a lot of reasons Indy 4 was a lousy movie, but two stand out in my mind. One: Harrison Ford isn’t that good at acting anymore, unless you like grumbling. Two: George Lucas had a hand in writing the initial screenplay. George Lucas should never be allowed to write anything other than a check made out to a competent screenwriter.

But Lucas will take the lead in writing this installment once more. According to Ford, "The process works like this: We come to some basic agreement and then George goes away for a long time and works on it.”

And then he adds crazy aliens who talk with a Jamaican accent. And bomb-proof fridges. AND SAUCER PEOPLE! Oh, does George do a number on that little idea.

I grew up with “Star Wars” and “Indiana Jones.” And, like many from my generation, I am greatly dismayed at what George Lucas has done to sully both of those beloved franchises. Here’s my idea for Indy 5: Dump Ford, dump Lucas, dump Shia LeBeouf. Hire a great screenwriter. Cast a new Indy, like Jeremy Renner or someone cool. Come up with some old artifact to hunt for, like Noah’s Ark or something. Then throw in lots of stunts and maps with advancing red lines, and BOOM. Mild improvement. Something new should be done with character. It may be blasphemous at first, but it’s better than what we got last time around.

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