Opinion: Presidential Election Forecast

Election Day

Ward Room blogger Ted McClelland has a few predictions for election night. Below is his state by state analysis of what will transpire on Election Night.

ALABAMA (9) -- George Wallace, thinks stock car drivers are athletes. ROMNEY

ALASKA (3) -- Elected Sarah Palin. ROMNEY

ARIZONA (11) -- Splotchy xenophobic white people asking to see dark people’s papers. ROMNEY

ARKANSAS (6) -- Hoo pig! Sooey! ROMNEY

CALIFORNIA (55) -- Hollywood, homosexuals, East L.A. OBAMA

COLORADO (9) -- Libertarian pot smoker Gary Johnson tips state to ROMNEY

CONNECTICUT (7) -- Yalies, liberal hedge fund billionaires. OBAMA

DELAWARE (3) -- Every resident knows Vice President Biden personally. OBAMA

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA (3) -- Don’t tell them the federal government is too big. OBAMA

FLORIDA (29) -- Insane Tea Party governor. ROMNEY

GEORGIA (16) -- Deliverance filmed here. ROMNEY

HAWAII (4) -- The president’s alleged birthplace. OBAMA

IDAHO (4) -- Entire state is armed. ROMNEY

ILLINOIS (20) -- Chicago machine looks out for its own. OBAMA

INDIANA (11) -- Liked Obama ’til he let poor people go to the doctor. ROMNEY

IOWA (6) -- 2008 caucus inflicted Obama on nation. OBAMA

KANSAS (6) -- Hasn’t voted for a Democrat since, um… ROMNEY

KENTUCKY (8) -- Boy, bring me another mint julep. ROMNEY

LOUISIANA (8) -- All Democrats either fled Hurricane Katrina or in Angola Prison. ROMNEY

MAINE (4) -- People speak French. OBAMA

MARYLAND (10) -- Greater Washington, D.C. OBAMA

MASSACHUSETTS (11) -- Knows Romney better than any state. OBAMA

MICHIGAN (16) -- “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt,” by Mitt Romney. OBAMA

MINNESOTA (10) -- Passive aggressive welfare-state loving Scandinavians. OBAMA

MISSISSIPPI (6) -- Treaty of Appomattox just reached Jackson by mule. ROMNEY

MISSOURI (10) -- Osmonds have theater in Branson. ROMNEY

MONTANA (3) -- Militia heaven, home of the Unabomber. ROMNEY

NEBRASKA (5) -- White, boring. ROMNEY

NEVADA (6) -- Loose slots, loose morals. OBAMA

NEW HAMPSHIRE (4) -- Romney summers here -- OBAMA

NEW JERSEY (14) -- Bruce Springsteen, obese governor both man love OBAMA

NEW MEXICO (5) -- Latinos, Natives, Taos New Agers. OBAMA

NEW YORK (29) -- Hates guns, Christianity, country music -- OBAMA

NORTH CAROLINA (15) -- Undead Jesse Helms making robocalls for ROMNEY

NORTH DAKOTA(3)  -- Economy based on oil and nuclear missiles. ROMNEY

OHIO(18) -- Figured out Jeep not moving to China. OBAMA

OKLAHOMA (7) -- Oral Roberts built third-tallest building in state. ROMNEY

OREGON (7) -- Portlandia. OBAMA

PENNSYLVANIA (20) -- Not enough conservatives to outvote Philly and Pittsburgh. OBAMA

RHODE ISLAND (4) -- Governor is a recovering Republican. OBAMA

SOUTH CAROLINA (9) -- Strom Thurmond won more than a dozen elections here. ROMNEY

SOUTH DAKOTA (3) -- Dakota a leading name for white babies. ROMNEY

TENNESSEE (11) -- Hank Williams Jr. endorsed ROMNEY

TEXAS (38) -- Guns, Baptists, cowboys, lethal injections. ROMNEY

UTAH (6) -- Center of the Mormonverse. ROMNEY

VERMONT (3) -- Ben & Jerry’s has flavor called “Yes Pecan!” OBAMA

VIRGINIA (13) -- Another D.C. suburb. OBAMA

WASHINGTON (12) -- Microserfs, tree huggers. OBAMA

WEST VIRGINIA (5) -- Coal, Appalacians. ROMNEY

WISCONSIN (10) -- Madison > Scott Walker. OBAMA

WYOMING (3) -- The Cowboy State. ROMNEY



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