Ward Room blogger Ted McClelland has a few predictions for election night. Below is his state by state analysis of what will transpire on Election Night.
ALABAMA (9) -- George Wallace, thinks stock car drivers are athletes. ROMNEY
ALASKA (3) -- Elected Sarah Palin. ROMNEY
ARIZONA (11) -- Splotchy xenophobic white people asking to see dark people’s papers. ROMNEY
ARKANSAS (6) -- Hoo pig! Sooey! ROMNEY
CALIFORNIA (55) -- Hollywood, homosexuals, East L.A. OBAMA
COLORADO (9) -- Libertarian pot smoker Gary Johnson tips state to ROMNEY
CONNECTICUT (7) -- Yalies, liberal hedge fund billionaires. OBAMA
DELAWARE (3) -- Every resident knows Vice President Biden personally. OBAMA
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA (3) -- Don’t tell them the federal government is too big. OBAMA
FLORIDA (29) -- Insane Tea Party governor. ROMNEY
GEORGIA (16) -- Deliverance filmed here. ROMNEY
HAWAII (4) -- The president’s alleged birthplace. OBAMA
IDAHO (4) -- Entire state is armed. ROMNEY
ILLINOIS (20) -- Chicago machine looks out for its own. OBAMA
INDIANA (11) -- Liked Obama ’til he let poor people go to the doctor. ROMNEY
IOWA (6) -- 2008 caucus inflicted Obama on nation. OBAMA
KANSAS (6) -- Hasn’t voted for a Democrat since, um… ROMNEY
KENTUCKY (8) -- Boy, bring me another mint julep. ROMNEY
LOUISIANA (8) -- All Democrats either fled Hurricane Katrina or in Angola Prison. ROMNEY
MAINE (4) -- People speak French. OBAMA
MARYLAND (10) -- Greater Washington, D.C. OBAMA
MASSACHUSETTS (11) -- Knows Romney better than any state. OBAMA
MICHIGAN (16) -- “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt,” by Mitt Romney. OBAMA
MINNESOTA (10) -- Passive aggressive welfare-state loving Scandinavians. OBAMA
MISSISSIPPI (6) -- Treaty of Appomattox just reached Jackson by mule. ROMNEY
MISSOURI (10) -- Osmonds have theater in Branson. ROMNEY
MONTANA (3) -- Militia heaven, home of the Unabomber. ROMNEY
NEBRASKA (5) -- White, boring. ROMNEY
NEVADA (6) -- Loose slots, loose morals. OBAMA
NEW HAMPSHIRE (4) -- Romney summers here -- OBAMA
NEW JERSEY (14) -- Bruce Springsteen, obese governor both man love OBAMA
NEW MEXICO (5) -- Latinos, Natives, Taos New Agers. OBAMA
NEW YORK (29) -- Hates guns, Christianity, country music -- OBAMA
NORTH CAROLINA (15) -- Undead Jesse Helms making robocalls for ROMNEY
NORTH DAKOTA(3) -- Economy based on oil and nuclear missiles. ROMNEY
OHIO(18) -- Figured out Jeep not moving to China. OBAMA
OKLAHOMA (7) -- Oral Roberts built third-tallest building in state. ROMNEY
OREGON (7) -- Portlandia. OBAMA
PENNSYLVANIA (20) -- Not enough conservatives to outvote Philly and Pittsburgh. OBAMA
RHODE ISLAND (4) -- Governor is a recovering Republican. OBAMA
SOUTH CAROLINA (9) -- Strom Thurmond won more than a dozen elections here. ROMNEY
SOUTH DAKOTA (3) -- Dakota a leading name for white babies. ROMNEY
TENNESSEE (11) -- Hank Williams Jr. endorsed ROMNEY
TEXAS (38) -- Guns, Baptists, cowboys, lethal injections. ROMNEY
UTAH (6) -- Center of the Mormonverse. ROMNEY
VERMONT (3) -- Ben & Jerry’s has flavor called “Yes Pecan!” OBAMA
VIRGINIA (13) -- Another D.C. suburb. OBAMA
WASHINGTON (12) -- Microserfs, tree huggers. OBAMA
WEST VIRGINIA (5) -- Coal, Appalacians. ROMNEY
WISCONSIN (10) -- Madison > Scott Walker. OBAMA
WYOMING (3) -- The Cowboy State. ROMNEY
TOTAL
OBAMA 294
ROMNEY 244
