How to Hang One of Those Business Swings You’re Always Hearing About

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Longtime “Simpsons” fans know all about business hammocks. And if not, well, hey, thanks to the Internet here’s all the context you need for what’s up next in this post - a quick transcript from the episode that unintentionally invented the concept:

Hank Scorpio: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
Hank Scorpio: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Hank Scorpio: There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.
Homer: Mm-Hmm.
Hank Scorpio: That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.
Homer: Oh, the hammock district!
Hank Scorpio: That's right.

Well, business hammocks may not be a full reality yet, but business swings are. Out of San Francisco (where else?) comes this a DIY walk-through on how to build a swing for your office, courtesy of’s Publisher and CEO of Quizlet, Dave Margulius.

The project, in all, cost him $680, though a large portion of that was earmarked for a TaskRabbit — which is an online/mobile marketplace that allows users to oursource small jobs and tasks to others in the neighborhood. The parts themselves aren’t all that expensive, but I wouldn’t advise cutting corners or handing this off as an intern project when they’ve run out of stuff to do. No offense to you interns of the world! But you probably want a skilled worker building something that’s hooked in with your building’s support structure so, you know, nobody gets hurt.

Anyway, it’s a weekend project. And guess what? There’s a weekend coming up. And don't your employees and colleagues deserve a chance to get swinging? Isn't that what fun startup culture is supposed to be all about? 

You know full well it is, amigos y amigas.

David Wolinsky is a freelance writer and a lifelong Chicagoan. In addition to currently serving as IFC’s comedy, film, and TV blogger, he's also a comedy-writing instructor for Second City and an adjunct professor in DePaul’s College of Computing and Digital Media. (He also co-runs a blog behind the DePaul class, DIY Game Dev.) He was the Chicago city editor for The Onion A.V. Club where he provided in-depth daily coverage of this city's bustling arts/entertainment scene for half a decade. His first career aspirations were to be a game-show host.

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