Blago's Secret Agent

Hires tax man for campaign fund

Former Gov. Rod Blagojevich has hired a former IRS agent to run his still robust ($2.7 million) campaign fund.

Undaunted by evidence that Blago taints everyone and everything around him, Bob Kennealy, who used to work organized crime cases, took the job within the last month. Here's what we think he's working on.

- Little-known deduction for getting caught on a wiretap talking stupid.

- Re-filing of Revised Form FG as a business expense for using the term "f&$^%in' golden."

- Declaration of Ravenswood home as province of the Cayman Islands and therefore usable as a tax shelter.

- Aggressive use of the jogging suit deduction.

- Structuring of book proceeds into a separate entity called The Other Rod Blagojevich, who will then be allowed to file separate returns.

- Use of the "O.J. Provision" that delivers a tax credit to anyone seeking the real criminal.

- The income tax is bogus, man! 

- All campaign funds restructured as bonuses and therefore not retrievable by the federal government.

- Exemption from IRS oversight because Blago was never really governor due to misspeaking while taking the oath of office.

- Funneling of campaign fund money to all potential jurors under the technical term of "gifts."

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