Dear Chat Daddy,
I am a gay woman who has been in a six-month relationship with a woman who has not completely come out of the closet yet. When we are in public, she never wants to show any type of affection towards me and it is beginning to make me feel as if she doesn’t care. When I discuss my feelings with her, she tells me to not take it personally and that it has nothing to do with our relationship or me. Recently, I’ve noticed that she is beginning to flirt with men right in front of me and I don’t know how to handle it. She has a phone relationship with this one man and it breaks my heart. I am extremely jealous because she lets him in to every facet of her life, while I am stuck out in the cold. I think that she’s cheating on me and I tried confronting her with this, but she blows me off. I love her so mu! ch and I just brought a ring because I want to propose to her. But I cannot shake this feeling that she doesn’t love me the same. What should I do?
Wow. How unfortunate that you are going through this with someone of whom you are considering sharing your life with. But let me ask you this: Why would you consider committing to her if you are picking up vibes that she does not feel the same way about you? Your girlfriend may be going through a lot, and coming out probably makes her feel uncomfortable. It sounds as if she is not fully comfortable with her sexuality and may be still trying to figure out who she is and what is best for her. In regards to her flirting with other men in front of you, that is definitely disrespectful to your feelings and the relationship. I suggest having one more heart to heart with her in which you ask where the relationship is headed. Are the two of you going to be tog! ether a nd grow, or would it be best for you both to decide to go your separate ways. However, I think that you should take a step back from the relationship and seriously ask yourself if you want to proceed with someone who is unsure of you and your involvement. But depending on your talk with her, things will be crystal clear to you as to whether or not you want to continue on or walk away. Keep me posted!
Dear Chat Daddy,
I am a 30-year-old man who is madly in love with my wife of nearly a year. Our relationship is good, but there is one problem. I have discovered that she is not very open-minded when it comes to sex and I have to admit, it is a bit frustrating. I have a high sex drive and so does she, but she’s not adventurous when it comes to trying new and creative things to spice up our bedroom experience. It has become quite boring and redundant. What can I do to convince her that it is okay to explore new possibilities when it comes to us pleasing each other? Please advise.
Oh my, is all I can say. Start off by having an open conversation with your wife. Since the two of you are a happy couple, really tell her how you feel and reassure her that it is okay to let go of her inhibitions with you. A lot of married couples are experiencing this same issue -- one partner feels too shy and not that comfortable with experimenting new ideas, positions or practices in the bedroom. Let her know that you love and desire her in every way, and that it would be an absolute joy and delight to experience new and exciting sexual perks with her. For extra reinforcement, the two of you may consider purchasing some good sex-related books for reference or maybe paying a visit to an adult toy store to flesh out your feelings and concerns. Here's to you enjoying a lifelong commitment full of exciting intimate encounters. Enjoy!