Forget the Thrill of the Hunt

Sex 911: Confessions of a Serial Dater

So you're on your fifth date with that hottie you met at The Underground and you can tell she's digging you. Everything is going as planned. You end up at your place on the couch making out. All the pieces are falling into place, until ... "Thanks for a great night," she says just before kissing you on the cheek and leaving.

Really? What the hell just happened?! You put five dates worth of time and energy into this girl only to result in a little making out and a crashed-and-burned peck on the cheek? It's like remodeling someone's basement only to have them pay you with coupons from Arby's. You expect a little something more.

After your frustration and bewilderment subside, you strangely begin strategizing for Date No. 6, which you know would be like punching yourself in the face a sixth time before you finally realize that it's a bad idea. But for some reason, you can't help it. Her sexual boycott makes you want her now more than ever.

In the movie "Intolerable Cruelty," George Clooney asks Catherine Zeta-Jones if she's a man-hater. She confidently answers, "People don't go hunting because they hate animals."

That's genius! And it applies to our sex lives, too, in that some people are all about the hunt for sex almost as much as the sex itself. Strange but true.

I've learned long ago that women love to be chased and, rightly or wrongly, plenty of men are happy to chase them. The less interested women appear, the more men seem to want them. The fact of the matter is, most women want sex as much as men do, but they want to make a guy work for it. They feel that men have to earn the right to have sex with them.

That notion may not make much sense to you, guys, but the female brain is a complex and bewildering thing. Maybe it's because since childhood, women are programmed to withhold sex until marriage. Or maybe women feel sex will mean something more if the guy is willing to work for it. Or maybe it's as simple as women being afraid of what the guy will think of them if they get freaky too soon. You can think this one to death!

But I guess I can't blame women for this one. They're probably gun-shy from all the confusing times when a guy chases her for weeks only to disappear like Jimmy Hoffa after she finally gives it up. The hunt was over and the dude got his prize.

Frustrated? Nah, don't be. It's easy to avoid the drama if both parties are willing to compromise.

Ladies, waiting to do the nasty is all good if it's for your principles or values, but if it's just to string him along so he chases you harder, you're just asking for a post-sex blow-off. Make sure it's for the right reasons.

And guys, exercise a little patience will ya? Slow and steady wins the race, right? Have fun with dating instead of making it just about getting laid. Get away from that thrill of the hunt mentality where you're only looking to declare "Mission Accomplished" at the end. As I recall that didn't work out too well for our last president, did it?

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