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The No. 1 skill to teach your kid ‘as early as possible,' says psychology expert—they'll be successful at ‘pretty much everything'

[CNBC] The No. 1 skill to teach your kid ‘as early as possible,’ says psychology expert—even Steve Jobs agreed it makes you more successful
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As a leadership consultant who studies workplace psychology, I've spent 30 years working with high performers across all industries. Again and again, one truth keeps proving itself: Being artistic in some way can transform you.

Even Steve Jobs agreed when he was interviewed for the PBS documentary "Triumph of the Nerds" in 1995: "I think part of what made the Macintosh great was that the people working on it were musicians and poets and artists and zoologists and historians, who also happened to be the best computer scientists in the world."

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Of all the artistic fields, I've found that mastering a musical instrument is the most powerful for rewiring the brain for greatness. Playing an instrument — whether it's the piano, trumpet or guitar — activates nearly every part of your brain: motor control, pattern recognition, emotional regulation, creativity and stamina.

That's why I believe parents should encourage their kids to learn an instrument as early as possible. Studies have consistently found that children who learn music are more likely to have increased IQ scores and better language development.

Plus, it encourages their brain to operate at full capacity, building the neural foundation for mastery in pretty much everything. Here's why:

1. You make visualizing success second nature

Musicians don't just practice, they fantasize. They see the stage, hear the notes and feel the outcome long before it happens. Hence, musicians build skill while just visualizing playing. That ability to rehearse and mentally simulate outcomes is a superpower: You learn not just react to reality, but to create it.

2. You develop a sacred relationship with time

When you practice an instrument, time stops being abstract. You feel in real-time the cost of distraction and the miracle of being fully focused.

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Over time, you become fiercely time-conscious — not in a stressed way, but in a sacred one. You don't want to rush, you want to make it count. This discipline shapes everything, from how you run meetings to how you build relationships.

3. You stop running from discomfort

Every musician has to face the parts of the music they hate and struggle with. There's no shortcut. You can't outsource it, nor avoid it. You have to lean in until the failure becomes fluency.

While most people avoid uncomfortable moments in life, playing an instrument teaches you to seek those moments. You no longer panic at pain; you see it as a sign of growth.

4. You learn that emotions are designable

Music isn't just output. It's a way of regulating your inner world by changing your emotional state with sound, breath, rhythm and in how you prepare.

It becomes an invaluable skill you carry into everything, like before a stressful conversation or during a conflict. You don't just express emotions anymore — you direct them.

5. You realize boredom is just feedback

Musicians don't just play scales mindlessly. They know what they're aiming to improve: precision, control, phrasing. Without that goal, their attention drifts, and practice becomes boring.

We often think stuff we do is boring, but boredom is feedback. It's your brain telling you: "Show me what this is building toward." The insight that boredom is the absence of a goal changes everything. Instead of labeling tasks as boring or dull, you ask, "What's my goal here?"

This makes you sharper, more engaged and harder to distract in any setting.

6. You turn being stuck into invention

Sometimes you can't play it right. Your hand won't stretch. Your fingers trip. So, you try it a different way. You improvise, rearrange, compose. Suddenly, the failure becomes fuel. This teaches you a profound lesson: When you can't follow the map, draw a new one. Innovation isn't a gift; it's a response to friction.

7. Your standards rise and stay high

Once you've heard the difference between "okay" and "exceptional," you can't unhear it. Once you've experienced how moments of excellence feels, mediocrity becomes unbearable. Music teaches you to expect more from yourself and others, not out of perfectionism but out of respect for what's possible.

8. You learn to create for others, not just yourself

When you're playing an instrument, you can't help imagining an audience, maybe to impress but mostly to move someone, to say something without words. That habit reshapes how you approach everything.

Your work becomes an expression of your standards, your values, your imagination. It forces you to ask: Is this good enough to matter to someone else? Will this make them think, feel, grow?

How to start expanding your brain with a musical instrument

Your brain's plasticity and ability to learn allows you to pick up a new instrument at almost any age, so it's never too late if you didn't learn to play music as a kid.

1. Pick the one that sparks emotion. You don't need logic here. What's an instrument that moves you? That makes you feel something? Piano, guitar, trumpet — follow the spark.

2. Practice for at least 20 minutes a day. Studies show that 20 to 30 minutes of focused practice can induce measurable brain changes, particularly in areas tied to motor skills and attention.

3. Celebrate improvement, not performance. Don't worry about being good. Track what you can do today that you couldn't do yesterday. Mastery is just small progress, compounded with love.

Stefan Falk is an internationally-recognized executive coach, workplace psychology expert, and author of "Intrinsic Motivation: Learn to Love Your Work and Succeed as Never Before." A McKinsey & Company alumnus, he has trained over 4,000 leaders across more than 60 organizations and helped drive transformations valued in excess of $2 billion. Follow him on LinkedIn.

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