Imagining a McCain Inauguration

- Networks grudgingly schedule one hour of programming.

- Chooses to get sworn in using Ronald Reagan’s bible; astrology charts fall out during ceremony.

- Invites Rick Warren to give the invocation.

- Swears to uphold the Constitution by saying, “I do, my friends.”

- Hot ticket is to the Alaska Ball, but only real Americans are invited.

- Most expensive inaugural ever.

- African Americans weep en masse.

- Rod Blagojevich not welcome.

- Bud Light chosen as official beer of the inauguration because of its drinkability.

- Between Cardinals in the Super Bowl and McCain in the White House, Arizona proclaims, "This is our time."

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