Attention, High-School Wrestlers: Beware of ‘Mat Herpes'

A Long Island high school is currently battling an outbreak of a weird virus. Apparently, all the skin-on-skin rubbing which occurs during amateur wrestling contests carries with it the chance that herpes gladiatorum is spread from person to person. As if anything with the word herpes in it doesn't have a negative enough connotation, the common name for this malady is "mat herpes."

Unfortunately, there's been an outbreak at Wantagh High School. More bad news: Wantagh recently competed in a tournament where several other schools were unknowingly put at risk to this virus.

Obviously, Wantagh didn't know about the outbreak on their team before the meet, and have subsequently canceled all of their upcoming meets -- until they can get this thing under control.

"We shut it all down until we are sure that everyone is safe," Wantagh wrestling coach Jim Murphy said. "We sent our entire team to the doctor to get checked out head to toe. This is an issue that has to be taken very seriously and addressed immediately."

So you can add you guys pass each other herpes to the list of things people* try to negatively say about wrestlers. You know, in addition to the constant homoerotic jokes about rolling around on the mat with other dudes. It just doesn't get more creative than those pesky high-school hecklers. However, an easy response, other than whipping said hecklers into submission on the mat, would be to respond that it's actually cool to get a virus with the word "gladiator" in it.

* - Those who aren't tough enough to wrestle.

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