The government's case against Rod Blagojevich was released Wednesday. But, who has the time desire to read through a 91-page legal doc. Let's just go with the juiciest bits.
As for whether it's all true? Well. Only if you trust a well-financed government team of legal experts who've devoted the last two years of their lives to investigating state corruption. Or, alternative! You can believe the guy who lost a game show to Brett Michaels.
So. Let's dive in.
Everyone knows suspects knows! that Blagojevich is a bad man. But just how bad?
During his time in office time calling his office from home, Blago enlisted several upstanding citizens. They were kind of like the Knights of the Round Table, if by "Round Table" you mean "telephone", and by "Knights" you mean "Hey idiots stop using the."
Rod's inner circle consisted of a Tony Rezko, since pled guilty to fraud and bribery, Lon Monk, since pled guilty to corruption, and Christopher Kelly, since ate rat poison.
The proffer goes on to say that Blagojevich, Kelly, Monk and Rezko met -- once in a conference room! With Rezko teacher-like at an easel! -- and listed "four different ideas or plans to make money". However, the foursome "stopped talking about the ideas about making money directly from their control over the State at some point after they learned that Stuart Levine had been confrontd by the FBI in the spring of 2004." Yeah. Well. That'd do it.
The Bear Sterns Pension Obligation deal
You knew Blago & crew tried to game Pension Obligation Bonds -- there was that $809K finders fee for then-RNC Chairman Bob Kjellander, who then loaned $600K to a pal of Rezko's who then paid it back from the proceeds of another loan. But. Did you know the scheme made Chris Kelly "pissed off"? The temerity of these common criminals!
Patti Blagojevich
Soon to be appearing in a courtroom drama called "I'm a Defendant, Get Me Outta Here!"
So Patti wasn't doing anything to earn money. Blago was only concerned that she didn't appear to be doing anything. For his part, Blago was concerned his wife would be perceived "as a ghost payroller if she did not go into Rezko’s offices."
"Rezko was willing to do whatever it took to get her money, whether it was from a monthly retainer or through hiring her to work on his development at Roosevelt and Clark," the proffer continues. "Rezko did not seem to care if she actually did anything to earn the money. Rezko was only concerned about ensuring that Blagojevich did not have to worry about his finances."
Blago, not satiated, decided he wanted to get Patti a government job. His advisors disagreed. Blago persisted.
And:
No, of course not.
Attempt to Sell the Senate Seat
The rest of the good stuff:
Politics
Harris suggested that Blagojevich tell Labor Union Official that Blagojevich wanted to accommodate the president-elect, but also wanted to take care of the people of Illinois. Blagojevich responded by stating “Yeah. And, and, and my, and me, do I say me.” Harris stated “Right, by, by keeping me strong.” Blagojevich responded to Harris “But I don’t want that. I’m not looking for that. I’d like to get out, the f___ outta here.” Shortly thereafter, Blagojevich stated that “the objective is to, to get a good gig over there.” ...
Deputy Governor A stated that the director of one foundation was “on two corporate boards and makes around $250,000 a year on the, in addition to her salary.” Blagojevich responded “Yeah, see that’s what we’d want. That’s it.” Deputy Governor A told Blagojevich that Blagojevich should make clear during the negotiations for the Senate seat that being on other boards “would be another part of the game.” Blagojevich responded “That’s right.” ...
Later on November 12, 2008, Blagojevich talked to Robert Blagojevich about filling the Senate seat. Regarding filling the Senate seat, Robert Blagojevich stated his advice was that Blagojevich “make sure it’s tit for tat, man you get something. I wouldn’t give anything away.”
