Where is New Jersey's Governor?

New Jersey's governor has gone missing in Chicago. Chris Christie arrived at O’Hare this morning on a top-secret mission to steal jobs from Illinois. Or maybe he arrived at Midway. Or maybe he was dropped off on Rainbow Beach by a U-boat from the Garden State Navy. No one knows for sure, because Christie’s office isn’t releasing details.

“The purpose of the trip is for the governor to meet personally with Illinois business leaders about the current economic climate, challenges and obstacles they are facing,” spokesman Michael Drewniak told the Newark Star-Ledger. “This is not a grandstanding or media event. He wants to be able to have frank but private discussions with business leaders.”

Christie, whose weight has been a defining characteristic in his political career, is so big that his opponent tried to make fatassery an issue in the 2009 governor’s race, accusing him of "throwing his weight around."

But his waistline is not an issue in Chicago, where steak dinners are par for the course among politicians who worked in a city built on the meatpacking industry.

What is an issue here is his intent to pilfer jobs.

A Christie spokesman said the New Jersey governor was here because of the “economic climate, challenges and obstacles” facing Illinoisans. We are currently facing obstacles dumped on us by our wintry climate. Christie may be trying to blend in with a Streets and Sanitation crew, so he can hijack a front-end loader, and carry Illinois jobs back to New Jersey.

Gov. Christie has been trying to steal jobs from Illinois ever since the General Assembly raised our state income tax from 3 to 5 percent. (New Jersey’s top income tax rate is 9 percent, but Christie has promised to sit on it until it shrinks to 6 percent.)

Gov. Pat Quinn has called Christie and other governors trying to lure away Illinois businesses “folks who come from other places and engage in political theater”

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