Inside the Mind of an Apathetic Voter

The following thoughts occur to me on Election Eve...

  • I'm tired.
  • This weather stinks.
  • I probably should lose like 5-10 pounds.
  • I miss the NFL.
  • I have a bunch of shows stacked up on my DVR, but I'm not particularly compelled to watch them.
  • I am not making full use of my unlimited DVD rentals through Netflix.

The one thing not on my mind is the 2011 Chicago Mayoral Election.

I imagine I'm not alone.

My polling place is in my apartment building, so a failure to vote would be a monumental act of laziness but if there were actual walking involved, I might just skip it.

I'm not sure if I have to be registered as a Democrat to vote in this election, but I am feeling too lazy to even Google it. 

Again, I imagine I'm not alone.

To vote, it helps if you care.  I don't. To me, these candidates are a blur of promises and hare-brained schemes designed to lure you to their side. Maybe one of the field has great ideas and a can-do spirit, but we won't know that until we see him/her govern.

I work in the news industry and I've somehow managed to miss every debate and even every soundbite through the campaign.

The only thing I actually heard was Carol Moseley Braun's "crack" comment, and that's because it went viral.

Oh, sure, I've seen the endless commercials of Rahm Emanuel and Gery Chico walking around with their top button unbuttoned.  But as soon as someone wins, they're going to wear a tie. Enjoy the view of their lower necks while you can, Chicago.

If I had to vote immediately, I'd probably go for Gery Chico. This is not an endorsement of Chico or his policies. I'd pull his lever simply because in my journalistic capacity, it's easier to write nine letters as opposed to the three dozen letters required to punch out Patricia Van Pelt Watkins. "Gery Chico" is Twitter-friendly.  I regret that I only have but 140 characters to give for my city.

Sometime between the period at the end of this blog and tomorrow, I'll do some research. I'll look at endorsements and read candidates' statements. I may even get around to Googling if I'm eligible to vote in a one-party election. And then I will hold my breath and vote for the candidate who feels like the right one.

But if I could find a candidate who could help me get sleep, end winter, help me lose weight, bring back the NFL, suss out my DVR situation and provide extra DVD time, I would vote for that dude in a heartbeat.

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