As part of a campaign to appeal to more local vodka fans, Absolut, one of the world’s largest alcohol brands, has created a Chicago-themed vodka.
Known as Absolut Chicago, the new spirit is described as a “smooth, mellow blend of rosemary and thyme herbal notes and green olives,” intended to capture the city’s history with a “unique blend of the past with the cutting edge of right now.”
Which got us thinking: Clearly, rosemary, thyme and olives don’t have anything at all to do with Chicago, do they? I mean, no one ever tasted rosemary and suddenly imagined themselves on Lower Wacker Drive, right?
Or chomped into an olive and felt an urge to overpay for downtown parking. Or took a whiff of thyme and longed for a 100-degree afternoon in the bleachers at Wrigley, watching the Cubs blow another late-inning lead.
If Absolut really wanted to create something “grounded in [Chicago’s] history and tradition yet constantly looking to the future,” I can think of about a dozen other flavors and scents it should have incorporated into its new vodka.
So, as a lifelong Chicagoan and an unflagging city booster, I hereby offer the marketing folks at Absolut my suggestions for what a real Chicago-themed vodka should taste and smell like:
Bubbly Creek
The late-inning breath of a White Sox fan at U.S. Cellular Field
Alley dumpsters
Dead alewives
Local
CTA bus fumes
Fulton market fish juices
Elevated ozone levels on the Kennedy Expressway
The smell of silly putty in Archer Park
Dog poop in a city park
There’s dozens more, I’m sure.
What do you think? Tell us on the Ward Room Twitter account, or just use the hashtag #ChicagoFlavor. Our editors will collect up the best responses and post next week.
