Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and play “Jeopardy!” against a computer. Little does the computer know you programmed it to play Minesweeper. It can’t win! LET’S GO!
SURVIVOR: REDEMPTION ISLAND – 8:00PM (CBS) The new season of “Survivor” features sixteen new contestants plus former contestants Russel Hantz and that guy who wears a Red Sox cap all the time. Why are those two guys in this season? Are they just perpetual cast members now? Do they get paid? I feel like they’re involved in every season of this show. They’re like the free letters you get in the “Wheel of Fortune” bonus round. Anyway, they’ve got a little twist to the game this year: Redemption Island, which I’m told is actually a peninsula. Banished contestants go there and then face off against one another for a shot to return to the game. Will there be hatchet fights? Let’s pray so. ANTICIPATION: TWISTY!
CRIMINAL MINDS: SUSPECT BEHAVIOR – 10:00PM (CBS) Oscar winner Forest Whitaker headlines this brand new spinoff. I’m happy for TV that Whitaker is on the small screen, but I’m sad for movies that such a good actor was easily persuaded to ditch film work for a weekly procedural. Either way, Whitaker will still always be Garlick from “Good Morning Vietnam” to me. “I have no idea what that means sir, but it seems very negative to me.” ANTICIPATION: FOREST!
TOP CHEF – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) They booted Fabio last week! NOOOOOOOOO! He was so charming, even if he had no idea how to cook anything that wasn’t pasta! Anyway, the show will lose a bit of playfulness now that our Italian hero has been ousted. Thank goodness tonight’s episode features Elmo and Cookie Monster to fill the absence. ANTICIPATION: C IS FOR CHEVRE!
MY STRANGE ADDICTION – 9:00PM (TLC) Tonight’s addicts include a woman who eats nothing but pottery and ashes. Seems like she’d be a great hire for a crematorium. ANTICIPATION: GHOULISH!
MODERN FAMILY – 9:00PM (TLC) Both Shelley Long and Fizbo the Clown return tonight, along with new guest star Matt Dillon, who plays Claire’s old boyfriend. And who doesn’t like Matt Dillon? He’s handsome. He’s funny. He’s charming. He’s clearly signed the same anti-aging deal with Satan that Bob Costas has. You can never go wrong with Matt Dillon. ANTICIPATION: RUMBLE FISH!