Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch at home while you stay at home and let Michael Vick score another 59 points on you. LET’S GO!
GLORY DAZE – 10:00PM (TBS) The Conanified TBS unleashes this new sitcom, a campus comedy set in 1986. Why 1986? Because frats were SEXIER in 1986, I tell you. Tim Meadows is likely the only name you know in the cast. And I’m told someone gets a taser to the scrotum in the pilot. Sounds enjoyable. I’ve lived on this planet for over three decades now, and for most of my life people have been trying to recreate “Animal House,” only to fail miserably. And you want to know the reason why “Animal House” succeeded? Because it was written by Harvard-educated geniuses as a political allegory against the Nixon Administration. As opposed to, say, “Fraternity Vacation,” which was written by a pack of mules with crayons strapped to their hooves. Let’s hope the makers of this show knew the difference. ANTICIPATION: CHUG CHUG CHUG!
GLEE – 8:00PM (FOX) After crashing the country music awards, Gwyneth Paltrow continues her publicity tour in support of Gwyneth Paltrow tonight on the hit musical. Paltrow plays substitute Spanish teacher Holly Holiday, who no doubt has annoyingly good pronunciation. She’ll be highlighting a mashup of “Singin’ In The Rain” and “Umbrella.” Oh yes. They went there. ANTICIPATION: PALTROW!
CHOPPED – 10:00PM (Food Network) It’s a special Thanksgiving edition of the Food Network cooking contest. Watch as the contestants are given 20 minutes to roast an entire turkey, then get chewed out when the turkey is undercooked. Also in the baskets tonight: bitter vegetables (yum!) and a Chinese condiment. C’mon, oyster sauce! ANTICIPATION: GROSS!
THE BIGGEST LOSER – 8:00PM (NBC) The chunkies are forced to take a balancing test in a pool. Uh, isn’t it fairly easy to balance in a pool? Especially if you’re as buoyant as these folks? Call me nutty. ANTICIPATION: SINK THAT BATTLESHIP!
NOVA: SECRETS OF STONEHENGE – 8:00PM (PBS) Did you know there’s a monument called Bluestonehenge that’s located one mile from regular Stonehenge? I had no clue. Is it blue? Do Smurfs live in it? I sure hope so. Anyway, tonight they dig up that sight to learn more about the mysterious mother monument. And oh, how they danced, the little people of Stone’enge. ANTICIPATION: WHERE THE DEMONS DWELL, WHERE THE BANSHEES LIVE AND THEY DO LIVE WELL!