They say absolute power corrupts absolutely. Well, if that's the case, then sign us up!
And yes, we're talking to you ladies who are probably asking yourself why a nice girl would want to watch chicks shed their threads to the roars of the crowd.
"I think women love these shows because there are ladies of all sizes and colors who get up there and dance, and there are beautiful, one-of-a-kind costumes," Vaudezilla founder Red Hot Annie says. "Plus, it's rowdy good fun for everyone. And we always give away lots of free stuff!"
There you go ladies -- fab outfits, freebies and feminism. As for you fellas, your motivation is pretty obvious.
And speaking of freebies, it won't cost you a dime to get in, and the $3 Absolut drinks are as close to free as you're going to get.
Of course, you'll want to pace yourself. With 18 acts on the bill, two different shows at 11 p.m. and 2 a.m., plus Exit's 4 a.m. license, there'll be plenty of time to sip cocktails in a lady-like manner between raucous shouts of "you go, girl."
Ali Weiss, a contributing writer for CheekyChicago.com, will be resisting the urge to rush the stage at Saturday's show.