A Guide to Finding Someone Special from Matchmaker PJ Osgood of NBC's "The Match Off"
Updated 1:54 PM CST, Fri, Jan 13, 2012
Stand Out in a Crowded Bar: Ever have that one friend that seems to be able to start up conversations with people in the bar right away, while you’re left sipping your vodka tonic? It’s all about giving offer the proper body language to be inviting to others.
- Don’t be afraid to flash someone a smile and always make eye contact.
- Even if you are too shy to approach someone, eye contact and a smile can be all that is needed to show someone that you are open to meeting them.
- Keep your body signals open and confident.
- So no crossed arms, shoulders back, keep your hands on the table or tilt your body towards the other person.
- Have a good time
- Get dressed up, have a blast, dance and talk to as many people as possible. If others see you having a good time, they will feel more comfortable in approaching you.
It’s Okay to Flirt: Many singles have an intense fear of rejection, but don’t let your ego stop you from approaching people!
- A simple hi can be the most sincere form of flirtation.
- A simple hello and polite smile and introductions show the other person that you are genuine and not just a creep that relies on cheesy pick-up lines.
- Give the conversation a chance.
- If you approach someone and don’t feel sparks right away, keep the conversation going for a while before you give up. Give the person a chance and you may be surprised if you end up hitting it off.
- Show off your playful side.
- If things are going well, up things a little bit with a little humorous banter or slight playful touch to show you’re interested.
Have Your Go-To Conversation Starters: When the simple hi falls flat, have questions to peak the person’s interest.
What do you do?
- A simple “What do you do?” shows that you are interested in the person’s life and can be an easy lead in to find some common ground.
- What are you and your friends out for tonight?
- If they are out with friends ask, “What are they out doing for the evening?” Engaging the person’s friends in conversation can be a comfortable way to lead into a private conversation with the person of interest.
- Ask about current events.
- Look to topics that are relevant to a wide majority of people such as “So has the Transformers 3 set taken over your life too? It was right outside my office yesterday!”
- Give a simple compliment.
- Something as simple as “I really like your dress” or “You have such a nice smile” can be just the balance of showing your interested to really peak the other person’s interest.
Switch Things Up: It’s easy for singles to fall into a routine and just let time pass by.
- Get involved.
- Meeting like minded people with similar professional or philanthropic interests can be a great way to connect with new people on a different level.
- Look to local organizations like the Jaycee’s, Young Professionals of Chicago, Dreams for Kids, that fit your professional or philanthropic interests
- Change your route.
- Stop a different Starbucks or go to the gym at a different time. You may be surprised at the new opportunities that present themselves.
Put Down the Blackberry: So many of us are so consumed with work and technology that the person of your dreams might be right in front of you.
- Disconnect on your way to work.
- Instead of putting on your iPod and not even looking up from your Blackberry on your morning commute, be open to those around you and you may be surprised how many more people approach you.
First Published: Jul 21, 2010 1:00 AM CST