Nadya Suleman, the mother of octuplets, is shown leaving her mother's home Friday Feb. 27, 2009 in Whittier, Calif.
Obviously in this hypothetical, you'd spring for the full senior cheeseburgers (who wouldn't?), but in case you wanted to waste the money, you could buy videotape showing octo-mom giving birth.
So, if you've got the money to burn, this may be the ultimate stocking stuffer. Although you may still want to consider the 1,000,000 cheeseburgers -- totally your call though.
Suleman, who finds a daily pseudo-reason to make our weird news headlines, gave birth to eight babies on Jan. 26. The 33-year-old woman from Whittier, Calif., already had six children.