Remember the husband who wanted his estranged wife to give back the kidney he'd donated to her? At least he didn't try to remove it himself.
One Thomas Lee Rowley, 28, is on trial in Victorville, Calif. for stabbing his ex-girlfriend six times, supposedly to reclaim the breast implants he'd paid for before they broke up. Or in his own words -- according to a trial witness -- "I'm gonna cut 'em out and get 'em back."
The woman (whose identity is being withheld) survived the attack, and her implants were able to be repaired (we imagine this is a bit like patching an Aerobed).
And because "being a psycho cautionary tale to women everywhere" still isn't a bookable crime, Rowley has been charged with "attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, stalking, burglary, and false imprisonment," according to the Associated Press. What have we learned today, ladies? Always pay for your own implants. (And keep the receipt!)