If God listens to a group of Franciscan friars, a certain Bible thief is going to get the runs.
The members of the Florence religious order are praying for the unusual vengeance to be brought down on whoever stole a rare edition of the good book from the lectern of the 15th century church of San Salvatore al Monte. Making matters worse, a replacement bible donated by a worshiper also promptly went missing, according to the Italian newspaper La Stampa.
"We pray to God that the thief is struck by a strong bout of the sh--s," the friars wrote in a note posted in the church, where Michelangelo once worshiped. Such a condition might "encourage him to carry out no further thefts."
The friars hope their own transgressions - praying for vengeance and using profanity to boot - will be forgiven.
"It is not exactly clean language," a friar told the paper. "But we couldn't put up with it any longer. The Lord and the faithful will understand."