Fort Lauderdale Rep. Alcee Hastings nearly turned C-Span into XXX-Span when he ran through a laundry list of sex fetishes on the House floor in D.C. on Thursday.
The outraged Hastings was apparently mad that the odd array of sex acts and fetishes were listed in an amendment to a hate crimes bill that he had to read over.
The Florida pol gave a warning before he ran through the list of nearly 25 different sexual terms - part of a two-minute rant worthy of late-night talk show television.
“I apologize to our transcriber, but I want to put into the record what we have to put up with in the Rules Committee,” Hastings said.
OK, now run and get your dictionary because you are going to need it to keep up.
Hastings list included but was not limited to: asphyxiphilia, apotomnophilia and autogynophilia (a quick Web search gave the definition as "a form of sexual response in biological males characterized by sexual arousal over the idea of being or becoming female." Translation: jones-ing to change one’s name from Bob to Betty).
There was also corophilia, exhibitionism, fetishism and toucherism (arousal from surreptitiously touching strangers" aka rubbing your manhood on another person).
Why anyone would put these sex terms in a hate crime bill is anyone's guess, but it clearly upset Hastings, a former federal judge who was impeached and removed from office after being charged with corruption and perjury in the late 1980s.
But today, Hastings was all business.