Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick throws the ball down the field against the Kansas City Chiefs during the third quarter on Sunday.
Power rankings. You hate them. They’re so arbitrary and pointless, especially when they include all 32 NFL teams. All you want to know after a good week of NFL action is who the bestest team in the NFL right now, and which one is the absolute worst. The one so awful, it could soon enter the GOP Presidential field. That’s why we have TOP AND BOTTOM OF THE NFL, where we go to great lengths to tell you who’s the top dog in football right now, this very minute. LET’S GO!
THE TOP: Buffalo Bills
We'll have plenty of time this season to throw the Patriots and Packers up here. But both those teams had defensive issues in Week 1 and the two best overall team performances were turned in by the Ravens and the Bills. And since the Bills were on the road, and since I have no idea if they'll be able to keep this up, let's give them the top spot for this first outing. Because they looked AWESOME on Sunday, even if the Chiefs were frauds last season and have already begun to mutiny against the evil Todd Haley.
Chan Gailey got his revenge on his former boss Sunday by unleashing a fully armed and operational Ryan Fitzpatrick on the Chiefs defense, and the Bills limited Kansas City to a meager 105 yards passing and kept the terrifying Jamaal Charles in check.
I hate saying any one set of fans deserve to see their team succeed, because all fanbases have their fair share of nice guys and losers, but the Bills have been one of the most hopeless franchises in football for the better part of a decade now.
At least the new Browns are obligated to stay in Cleveland. The Bills have long been poised to exit their hometown in the most inglorious way possible, making lousy draft picks, hiring reject coaches, and never finding a proper franchise QB. Heck, the team won't even have the common courtesy to stay in the country when they move. It's not right.
So it seems fitting that the team would buck convention and finally find success with a coach no one wanted and a QB off the Bengals' scrap heap. Like I said, I have no idea if they'll keep it up. But man, it sure would be fun if they did.
THE BOTTOM: Indianapolis Colts
Spotting Houston 34 points in one half is an easy way to find yourself down here. You'll hear analyst after analyst tell you this week that the Colts' horrible loss was direct proof that no player is more valuable to his team than Peyton Manning. Unfortunately, that's actually a damning indictment of how the Colts have done business over the past decade.
Bill Polian invested far too much in Manning. He never signed or developed a proper backup. The team essentially let Manning serve as both head coach and offensive coordinator. Manning became like the guy in your office who has no real job description but does EVERYTHING, and is the only guy who knows the passwords to every wireless network and where the toner is located. He became the central nervous system of an entire franchise and without him on the field, everything has collapsed.
This is a team in big, big trouble.